Some Mad Hope
by holygoof101
Summary: Seven years ago, Finn Hudson let Rachel Berry slip away, but never really moved on. Rachel Berry didn't try to hang on Finn Hudson, but never really let go. Now life has taken them down different paths. Is it possible to recapture the one that got away?
1. Prologue Part One

Summary: Seven years ago, Finn Hudson let Rachel Berry slip away, but never really moved on. Seven years ago, Rachel Berry didn't try to hang on Finn Hudson, but never really let go. Now living different lives with completely different paths is it possible to recapture the one that got away?

A/N: It has been a LONG time since I've written ANYTHING. Therefore I don't have a beta and this is my first shot at a Glee fic. Something about being Glee-less until Sept has left a void inside of me that needs to be filled. I'm terrible at summaries so bear with me, I've got a rough outline of ideas for this story and I'm just gonna roll with it. The title comes from the title of a Matt Nathanson album that acted as 'soundtrack' that inspired this. I could recommend that everyone listen to the album songs from it will be popping up and playing a part in later chapter I believe.

Disclaimer: As awesome as it would be if I owned Glee, I don't. I just choose to imagine the possibilities with the characters.

Prologue Part One: His Spot

If you take a left and go down River road, in the opposite direction of town, you'll find a spot nestled between banks of trees where the ground flattens out and you can sit on the levee and just watch the river flow with the lights of the city in the background. If you get to that spot at the right time you can catch the sun reflecting over the water as it sets. It's the kind of spot most people seek out if they want a quiet retreat. Finn Hudson, however, discovered this spot purely by accident. During his first drive off campus, instead of taking a right to go into town, Finn misread the directions and took a left. After driving well long enough to realize he wasn't going anywhere near town, he finally pulled over to call his roommate, a local kid familiar with the city. But as he reached for his phone he took a glance out of the car window and noticed the clearing of grass between the trees, it seemed like a path calling his name, and who was he to ignore something calling his name.

The first time he sat on the levee's edge and watched the water, he felt a smile creep across his face, and hummed a familiar tune to himself, "Bye, bye Miss American Pie, drove the Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry," and before he knew he was singing at the top of his lungs, "And good old boys were drink whiskey and rye, singing this'll be the day that die." When he finished the song, Finn Hudson knew that for the remainder of his days in college, maybe even the remainder of his life, that clearing. That levee. That river. That spot. Would be his spot.

Pulling his truck to the side of the road and putting it in park, Finn let out a held breath as he moved to get out of the vehicle. It wasn't an uncommon scene, a late night trip to the levee was actually something he did at least once a week, but somehow something in him was always worried that the next time he tried to go to his spot, it would be gone. It had been almost seven years, since he accidentally stumbled across that spot and he sure as hell wasn't the same naïve kid from Lima, Ohio he was the day he found that. Okay well maybe he was still a bit naïve, he always told himself, but he knew he wasn't the same person. Walking through the unkempt grass and out to the levee's edge, he looked out at the lights reflecting into the water, the very first time he noticed this a sense of calm washed over him, and the same feeling still over takes even if just for a second when he sees those lights. Tonight shouldn't be any different than any other night spent on the levee for him. This was his peaceful place; where he came to relax, distress, unwind. Sometimes he would bring his guitar, a talent he acquired during his freshman year when he realized that drums were not only too small for a dorm room, but that any college neighbors he had likely would not be very tolerate of any practicing he did. It was there on the levee with his guitar, that he realized he actually had the ability to write a decent song. Well his first few attempts were pretty awful but somewhere around his attempt to write song six they started getting progressively better. Sometimes he would leave the guitar and go out there just to sing, at the top of his lungs as loud as he could, where no one would tell him to shut up, where he could relive high school and solos and glee through song.

But most nights he went out here, he went out there just to think. He's made many of his major life decisions on that levee. Even spent a night or two sleeping out there because he thought so much it made him tired, and well who was going to bother him all the way out there. And if someone did find him they would probably just think he was some kind of crazy homeless person or a drunk college kid sleeping it off and he didn't really care if people thought either of those things about him, so he didn't really see any harm in sleeping out there. But that hadn't happened that often. Sometimes when he didn't have anything to think about he would just go sit and let his mind be blank and the sense of peace and calm wash over him. He liked the way that felt. Like for a moment the Earth stopped moving and he could be in any moment of time he wanted to be in. It was those times when he'd watch the water and let his mind fill up with memories. So tonight shouldn't have been any different than any of his other trips to levee. Except tonight his mind only wanted to think about one thing. He couldn't explain it, and he hated the lump forming in his throat because he knew what it meant. Dangling his long legs off the edge, Finn ran his hands down his face and blew out another breath. Tonight was different because tonight all he could think about was her.


	2. Prologue Part Two

Prologue Part Two: Her Life

Rachel Berry smiled and took one last picture before waving goodbye to the handful of people who had waited outside of the small theatre to take pictures and get their playbills signed. Walking over she opened the door to the cab waiting to take her back to the hotel, and collapsed down next to her cast member letting out a small sigh.

"Was that sigh of exhaustion? I didn't think Rachel Berry got exhausted."

"No," she said and smiled softly at her friend. "That was a sigh of I can't believe this is over. I've spent the last three years on the road touring all over the country and the world playing Maureen Johnson, and now it's over. It's over and I'm homeless because I gave up my apartment in New York because it didn't make any sense to lease an apartment that I hadn't seen the inside of in six months. I didn't even move my own stuff out of it; my dads flew to New York and put it all in storage for me because I was in Chicago on a month long run there. Speaking of my dads I've seen them a total of 12 times in the last three years, and six of those were because they came to see me. I have no pets, no plants, no boyfriend, no live outside of this show and being on the road with this show," she took a deep breath and let out a long shaky sigh behind it. "I'm not sure if I'm upset or relieved." She concluded her ramble to her friend.

"Well have you thought about what you're going to do now?"

Rachel shook her head, "Of course I have. My life may have turned into a series of road trips but that doesn't mean I don't have a plan. I always have a plan." She smiled and gave her friend a nod of reassurance before looking forward. She would never admit it to anyone but for the first time in her life she didn't have a plan. In fact she didn't have a damn clue what she was going to do now, other than go to Ohio and spend some time with her dads before she went back to New York and started auditioning again. As the cab pulled to a halt and they stepped out, walking into the hotel and getting on the elevator, making small talk before giving each other a quick hug as her cast member and friend stepped off at her floor. Rachel looked up and watched the numbers as the counted towards her floor almost dreaded the sound of the ding as the doors opened to let her off.

Anyone who knew Rachel Berry years ago would shake their head and tell you that there was never a time you'd see her dragging her feet after a performance. She put her heart and soul into everyone and was never anything but bubble and proud of each and every time she took the stage. But that was years ago and life hadn't gone completely by Rachel's plan. Not that she was complaining, she still got to do what she loved every night of her life, but when she pictured herself on the stage she never saw herself on a stage changed the scenery around it so often. She wasn't a Broadway star, but she was in a Broadway show and that was good enough for now, she was still young enough to make it, she had told herself everyday for the last three years.

She had been elated to get the part right out of college, and touring couldn't be too bad. It paid well, it was a real show and plenty of Broadway cast members got their start in touring productions. She had seen it as temporary, she never thought three years and thousands upon thousands of miles later, she would still be on the road. Or well she was on the road. She had earlier that evening sung her last note, on the very last and final stop for the tour. A tour and show that Rachel had made her life, which of course the stage had always been her life, and she was always going to be a star, so she couldn't really understand why for the last year, maybe longer, she felt like something was missing.

Rachel hummed a soft sigh to herself, and moved to the edge of her hotel bed to take her shoes off, looking at the window at the skyline of the city before lying back in the bed. Hotel beds had become all too familiar, she learned very early on not to think about what might or might not have been done on that bed before she got there, otherwise she'd never get a decent sleep and her performance would be off the next day because she didn't receive proper and adequate sleep. But sometimes she thought it might be nice to sleep on a bed where she didn't have to worry about things like that, a bed that was hers and not one that had been shared time and time again before she got there. Rolling onto her side, she looked out the window again, almost able to make out her reflect in the glass as she propped herself up on her elbow.

For a moment she thought about the girl she used to be, not that she was that much different. She was still pushing and bossy and a drama queen. But she learned very early to tone it down, if she wanted to keep her job and did she ever want to keep that job when she got it. Closing her eyes she thought about her life and how she was still working towards those same dreams that hadn't changed since she was child. The difference was though that while she would never admit this to anyone, she wasn't sure she wanted them as badly anymore. As much as she wanted to be a star, the road and the traveling had taken its toll on her and now more than anything, she just wanted to have a plan again. A plan and something to call her own besides a toothbrush and a suitcase. Feeling herself drifting closer to sleep she quickly opened her eyes and reached for the bedside alarm clock, playing with the buttons to set it and accidentally turning the radio on. The music blared loud from the speaker and she rushed to turn it down, the familiar lines flood her ears, "Through space and time always another show.  
Wondering where I am lost without you." Her eyes shut tight as she softly sang along with a song she'd once preformed so long ago, what seemed like worlds ago to her. Lyrics she only thought meant something to her back then, that now made complete and total sense, mimicking a feeling she wish she could say she had in her life. Opening her eyes she looked out at the city skyline again and pressed her lips tightly together as the feelings flooded forward and she realized in that moment exactly why she had always felt like something was missing.


	3. Chapter 1

A/N: There's a lot of back story to tell and I'm trying to work it in as best I can so again bear with me. The song isn't mine (or Finn's lol) it's a Matt Nathanson song called Still. Warned you the music was going to play a good part in this. Like I said I have a rough idea and outline for this story. But I'm always open to feedback and would love to hear your thoughts on this futurefic.

"Ouch, crap, that hurt," Finn mumbled to himself as his shin crashed into the end table near the sofa in his apartment. Grace was never a word anyone would have used to describe Finn Hudson; he knew that as well as anyone. Sometimes it still baffled him how he'd ever had the coordination to perform chorography or the balance to being a quarterback, let alone a successful colligate quarterback. But somehow he'd managed he'd manage to not only learn how to sing and dance at the same time, but to hold his footing and throw a 50 yard pass down field for a touchdown. It was touchdown passes and not dancing that paid for his college, and allotted him a chance at a future he'd never thought he'd get. For a few moments, after he lead his team to a BCS National Championship his junior year, those dreams even included the idea that maybe one day he'd throw footballs professional and have a future he really, REALLY, never thought he'd get. That all changed with the fourth game of his senior season when a lineman broke through a block and sent him and his NFL dreams crashing to the ground. It took four surgeries to get his knee right after that and sometimes it still hurt to run, or walk or even sit, but he didn't let that bother him that much. And on the rare occasion that he did start feeling sorry for himself over his knee and lost career, he just called Sean and got quickly put back in his place without ever having to mention that he might have felt slightly sorry for himself.

"Finn, that better be you," he heard a voice from the hallway grumble.

"Yeah, it's me Ste," he assured his roommate as he made his way to the kitchen.

"I swear to God Hudson, how we have been living in this apartment for three years and haven't changed a things and yet you STILL run into things is beyond me. Sometimes I wonder how you even manage to walk up right." Stewart sarcastically remarked as Finn just shrugged.

"Guess that'll just have to be one of those medical mysteries you solve if you ever get out of med school huh?" Finn quipped back at his best friend and roommate. He'd met Stewart on their first day on campus; whoever made the rooming assignments thought it was a good idea to pair up the blue chip quarterback with grades that barely made the academic qualifications, with the full academic ride future medical student. Finn knew within the first five minutes of being in his room with Stewart that A) he liked Stewart, he used a lot of big words and that reminded him of Rachel, who was the only reason he knew half of the words Stewart used and B) whoever made the rooming assignments was way smarter than he was ever going to be. It was an unlikely friendship but over the course of their first year at college, and the forced roommate situation the two young men grew to genuinely like each other. Stewart help Finn pass his classes and get the hang of managing football and classes, and Finn well… Finn wasn't quite sure what he brought to the table for Stewart but they were friends and that was all that really mattered to him. That and they fact that Stewart was really clean, like really clean, so even to this day Finn didn't have to worry much about picking up after himself because nothing sat out of place for more than a few minutes with Ste around. He liked that. When Stewart started medical school, a year before the fifth year senior Finn, graduated they decided it was time to leave the dorms and get an apartment. Sometimes Finn thinks if it hadn't been for Ste he'd have never managed to keep the grades to play football and he'd certainly have never made the grades to actually get into a graduate program.

Stewart rolled his eyes at Finn's comments and mumbled something far too complex for Finn to understand under his breath before he began picking up the magazines and mail that had fallen from the table Finn ran into. "One day Finn you're going to function like a normal human being I will see to this even if it takes my last dying breath." He remarked only half kidding. "So where the hell were you all evening anyway? Oh wait let me guess, you were at your super secret hiding place that you've had since freshman year, that you go to every night before you have a show, and that you STILL six and half years later, still will not inform me of the location of."

With a shrug Finn made his way into the kitchen, open the fridge and reaching for a beer, "If I showed you where it was, then it wouldn't be my super secret hiding place now would it?" He gave him a half cocked grin, and opened his beer. "You're driving tonight right?" Finn watched as Stewart shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Good, I'm going to go change and grab my guitar."

At least once a month, sometimes more, Finn would play a small set list of songs on his acoustic guitar at one of the local college bars. Sometimes that bar hosted shows for bigger acts and signed artists, once he even got to be the opening act to the opening act for Josh Hoge, who no one had really ever heard of but he was a songwriter and a signed artist and the crowd was pretty big and interested in the music as much as the alcohol, so Finn thought that was pretty cool. He filed that away with one of his proud moments in life. But it wasn't rock star dreams that gave him the urge to play these small shows. It was a need to perform; it was a need to have a creative outlet. It was because he had never been happier in his life then when he was on a stage singing, so he had to find some way to keep doing that for rest of his life if he could. Even if it never meant anything to anyone but him. And did it ever mean something to him. He'd even scraped together enough money to record a few of his songs and put them on a CD with his picture on the front. Something else he thought was really cool even if it didn't mean anything to anyone but him, and his mom of course. Sometimes he'd sell a copy or two when he played, sometimes former fans from his footballs would come out to see him play and he'd sell out of the copies he'd brought. But it wasn't about money or selling CDs it was about performing, still being able to put his heart and soul out on the line and feel the emotions. Something he did every time he took the stage with that guitar.

It was the same scene every time he played. Ste and his girlfriend Maddie always came to see him play and sat at the table with his CDs just in case anyone decided to buy one. And he would always sit at the table with them until his set time, watching Stewart meticulously arrange and rearrange the CDs until they were to his liking. Finn would always lean back in his chair quietly and nervously sipping a beer, making small talk with Maddie, or the occasion fan from football or music.

"Finn," Maddie looked up at him from her drinks shaking her head as Stewart continued to arrange the table. "You recorded these like a month ago and I still don't know what's behind this title? The Language of Her? What the hell is that suppose to mean, why not just called it Finn Hudson, or name it after one of the songs."

Stewart shot his head up from his arrangement and cut his eyes at his girlfriend, "Please don't," he said in a half exasperated breath. "Please don't, I cannot hear this again."

Maddie raised a confused eyebrow at Stewart then looked at Finn, "He can't hear what again."

Finn opened his mouth to speak, but what quickly cute off by the sound of Stewart voice, "It's called The Language of Her because her is an ex girlfriend, that every song on there was written about, that every song he's ever written is about, that he still gets all quiet and pissy and girlie when he thinks about and Finn would you like to tell Maddie how long it's been since you've seen or heard from this girl? Or should I?" Finn shot Stewart and unamused look and gave a soft growl. "Six years, Madison. It's been six years since HE broke up with HER, and hasn't heard hide or hair from her. Though he did used to Facebook stalk her, but about three years ago she stopped updating so now his search history shows he only looks once or twice a month now."

Maddie smiled and studied Finn's reaction to the story knowing by the look on his face Stewart must be telling the truth, or at least something resembling it. "Well that's kind of… cute. I think… It explains a lot. I always wondered why you never dated. I asked Stewart a couple of months ago when we first got together if you were gay, and just in the closet because you know football hero, gay, didn't seem like it would go over so well, but this makes a lot more sense."

Finn took a deep breath and let it out with a growl, "Stewart, twisting the situation. I am over Rachel Berry, and I have been for years. And I've dated I've just never found a girl who I don't know who's worth it." He says rather defensively before dropping his shoulders and letting out a sigh. "The long and short of it Maddie is Rachel was my first love, and we tried to make it work after high school, but with me doing football and her in a theatre program, it just didn't work."

Stewart cut his eyes toward Maddie, "He's only saying that because he doesn't want to seem like a big girl about the whole thing. She couldn't come down for one of his games even though all he did was play mop up duty and hold for field goals and extra points freshman year. When she couldn't make it down after she promised she would Finny here decided that he wasn't important enough and broke up with her. She called all hours of the night for a week and in order to ignore her calls he stayed drunk and almost got kicked off the team. He's never fully recovered because he won't deal with it and let himself have closure. He'd rather just write sad songs and pine."

Feeling the sting of the words, Finn stood up from the table smoothing out his clothes and clearing his throat again. "I have to go get ready now." He said lowly before walking off. It wasn't the tone or even the nature of Stewart's words that stung so badly, it was the truth behind them. Stepping to the side of the stage and checking his guitar Finn swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as he thought about her, memories and moments flashing through his mind. Every song was about her, even after all this time, even when he was sure she'd forgotten about him long ago, even with all of that she was still a hell of a muse. And every time he went out there and sung those songs, he was singing them to her, whether she could hear them or not every time he sang his heart was screaming to her.

_ "Still can feel you kiss me love, still can see your brown skin shining, shining. Still can feel you kiss me love, so come on and drive me wild…."_

She leaned against the wall in the bar of the noise bar, but the bar could have been a thousand times noisier than it actually was and it wouldn't have drowned out his voice. It was loud and clear. Crisp and fluid. And still one of the most beautiful sounds she'd ever heard. She didn't need to go get a drink to be intoxicated, all she had to do was close ever eyes and listen and she felt drunk. Her heart pounding in her chest and her hands clammy, a nervous feeling in her stomach making her question if this was a place she needed to be. But his words sung to her, and she meant to her, she could hear it coming from every note.

"_Still can feel you kiss me love. Still can see your eyes like diamonds, diamonds. Memories are strong enough, so come on and drive me wild."_

She could have walked out the door and been happy she'd just laid her eyes on him and got to hear his voice. But in one line all the questions running around in her head were answered. Wringing her hands together and leaving her eyes closed she continued to listen.


	4. Chapter 2

Rachel Berry didn't have a clue what she was going to say when she arrived at the bar that night. What was she suppose to say, "Hi remember me? I know I haven't tried to call or write in six years but I miss you, you wanna go have a cup of coffee?" Was the best she could come up with, and if Finn was still Finn then she figured that line might actually work. So that was the line she rehearsed in the mirror before leaving her hotel room downtown and going to the small campus bar. She knew on the ride over there that there was no way she was actually going to say that to him, on the ride over she started question if she'd even be able to speak to him. She resolved that if all she got to do was see him again she'd could leave and be happy and not further disrupt his life for her own selfish reasons. All she needed to do was see him, then she could get on a plane back to Ohio visit her dads and then continue on and reestablish New York as her home. Rachel continued reassuring herself of this fact with inner monologue until she finally arrived at the bar.

Before the bouncer had even finished checking her ID, she could hear the sound of his voice coming through the speakers, she hadn't prepared herself for the effect it would have on her. She only managed a few steps into the room before his voice, weakened her knees. Carefully Rachel leaned up against the wall steadying herself. There wasn't anything in the world that could have prepared her for that moment and she hadn't even raised her head to look at him on the stage yet. And when she finally did, when she finally looked up to watch his face as he sang into the microphone, the words and the passion of the song showing on his face, Rachel Berry felt like someone sucked all of the air out of the room and left her with only the breath in her chest. So she held it. She held her breath and closed her eyes and listened to him sing, absorbing his lyrics and trying to will herself to walk back out the door.

"_Still can feel you kiss me love. Still can see your eyes like diamonds, diamonds. Memories are strong enough, so come on and drive me wild."_

It was that line that silenced the voices in her head trying to talk her into leaving. It was that line that reminded her of why she'd changed her flight and flown her to begin with. As he finished up the song Rachel gave a few small soft claps. Nothing like the enthusiastic jumping claps she used to give him years ago, she wasn't looking to draw any attention to herself, and the bar was certain small enough to where those kinds of actions would have drawn attention. In the corner she noticed a blonde girl sitting at a table selling what appeared to be CDs. Rachel felt her breath catch in her chest at the thought of who that girl might be. "Well if that's his girlfriend at least you're prettier than her, and you're certainly more talented than she is. If you were still with him you'd be up there singing with him, not hiding behind his merch table." Rachel silently told herself with thoughts as she made her way closer to the table, trying to seem as comfortable and casual as possible. As she approached the table she looked down at the CD cover that seemed to be staring up at her, a picture black and white picture on Finn squatting down and holding a guitar by the neck with his head hanging low but his eyes looking up, graced the cheap plastic case. Rachel felt her breath hitch in her chest and she looked at the picture reaching down and slowly tracing her fingers over the picture, before picking the CD up and looking at the back, trying not to seem as if she was lingering over his picture.

"How much are they?" She casually asks the blonde girl at the table.

"They're five dollars each, but if you buy two you get a third one for free. Finn has this crazy notion that people will always buy something if there's something for free involved."

Rachel couldn't hide the small giggle that built up in her chest as she picked Finn pitching this concept to anyone who would listen; he'd had that notion for year. It felt good to know that some things never change. "Sounds like him," she said ever so softly, as to make sure the girl couldn't hear her, before she looked up from the back of the CD. "Well then I guess I'll take three," she smiled reaching into her purse and handing the girl a twenty.

"Hang on Ste, has all the change," The blonde at the table said before waving wildly at someone. "Baby, I need change for a twenty. Finn sold a CD." She said playfully blowing a kiss.

A deep involuntary breath released from Rachel's chest. She hadn't even realized she'd been holding it until she let it go. At least that isn't his girlfriend; she thought to herself and quickly scanned the crowd with her eyes. Again she let out another breath, this time she knew she was holding it though. Tucking the CDs away into her purse she refocused her eyes on Finn, watching him perform, taking in his every lyric and movement. As he strummed what he had foretold the audience would be his final chord and sang his final note, Rachel wondered what to do next. She hadn't thought her plan out this far. She had no clue how to approach him or what she was even going to say. A part of her was screaming to just leave and let it be, move on with her life and let go. And letting go might have been an easy thing to do if she hadn't just realized that she was still hanging on.

He gave the crowd a small wave and moved off stage to put his guitar in the case, closing and locking the case and starting to make his way towards the table where his CDs were being sold. Rachel froze as she realized that she was still standing right in front of the very place Finn was headed. Taking in a deep breath, she kept her back turned to the table as he approached and sat down next to his friends.

"How'd I do, anyone pity me enough to buy a disc tonight?" He said with a playful lack of confidence. Rachel felt her eyes close and gently shook her head to herself. Some things never change again she thought.

"Actually believe it or not your crazy buy two get one free because people will buy anything if there's something free involved, it actually worked tonight."

Finn looked at Maddie with a slightly confused look, not because his idea worked, but confused because why wouldn't his idea work. People love free stuff. "Well of course it works, people love free stuff."

Still eavesdropping from her table with her back turned to them, Rachel had to stifle a laugh. If that wasn't Finn Hudson exactly as she remembered him, then she didn't have perfect pitch. And she was without a doubt certain her pitch was still completely perfect. Still nodding slightly to herself in reassurance, she froze as she heard the words, "That lady right there at that table." She was being pointed out, she could feel the finger point at her and in that moment she would swear she felt Finn's eyes on her as he started walking her way. Life was moving in slowly motion and warp speed at the same time. Gross bumps and hairs standing up as she gripped the table and tried not to panic. In this very moment she wished she'd gotten a drink after all. Hearing his footstep as they got closer and closer, Rachel sucked in a deep breath that brought all the courage she had into her lungs with it. Standing up quickly and turning around just before he reached, she pressed a smile together and locked eyes with him, "Hi, Finn." She said barely audible and briefly widen her pressed smile at him.

She was the last person he expected, the last person that should have ever shown up. If there was one person in the world he didn't want to hear most of those songs, well that person was standing directly in front of him at that very moment. There was no more air in the room to breathe; his more was dry and his chest tight. What was moments ago the sounds of bottles, and pool cues, and voices, had been replaced by silence. And the silence was filled with a smallest greeting, from the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard. He was sure she could see the shock in his eyes, but it would have been no use to hide it. Hit like a ton of bricks with a ghost from the past and any other cheese bucket cliché he could think of to describe the situation ran super fast through his brain, before he stopped his mind from racing and shook his head and shook away the blank expression on his face. "Rachel?" He said softly in a breathy voice the sounded like someone had knocked the wind out of him. What happened next, what he said next wasn't planned, he had rehearsed thousands of times on the levee what he would say to her if he ever ran into her. But all the rehearsing in the world would have never prepared him for it actually happening. Finn felt the corner of his mouth twist up, and couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips "I've missed you."

In that moment Rachel Berry stood there in a noise crowded bar staring at the first boy she'd ever loved, the only boy she'd ever loved, and he was looking at her with that super cute silly crooked half smile on his face just like he used. Her pressed smile faded away, along with her nerves and expectations. Replaced by a sense of hopefulness and a real smile back at him. "I've missed you too."


	5. Chapter 3

_"It's getting really old Rachel, there's always a workshop or audition or something you have to volunteer for." Finn said in an exasperate tone breathing heavily into his cell phone as he let out a sigh. "I understand that it's a lot of effort to fly all the way down here for a weekend, but I'm going to be in West Virginia, that's the closest I'm going to be to you all season. We planned this months ago." _

_ "I know Finn, and I tried to get out of it. I did but the read through is Saturday night and it's 25% of my grade what do you want me to do fail the class." Rachel calmly tried to explain. They were both under stress and still trying to adjust to their new situations all the while maintaining their relationship. It hadn't exactly been as easy as either of them thought it would be._

_ "No I don't want you to fail the class. But damn it I want to matter to you. I'm tired of being second string to everything right now. I'm a second string student, a second string quarterback, and apparently a second string boyfriend as well." He said with a soft harshness. "Look if you can't make it to West Virginia this weekend, then maybe…" He pauses and let out a breath._

_ "Then maybe what Finn?" Rachel quietly spoke into the receiver. _

_ "If you can't make it to West Virginia this weekend, then maybe you should just cut me from your team. I shouldn't have to play second string with you, and…" _

_ "Are you breaking up with me?" _

_ "You're a star, and I'm just the guy who holds for kicks. It doesn't seem like we match up very well anymore." Finn closed his eyes glad she couldn't see the expression on his face. Everything inside of him knowing there was no way he'd ever be able to say something like this face to face. Not even wanting to picture hers right now. "Look Rachel you obviously need someone who doesn't mind being in your shadow and playing second string to the career you're reaching for, and right now that guy's just not me." Swallowing hard, Finn shook away the tear that had formed in his eye. "I gotta go…"_

_ "No, Finn you don't get to get off this easy," she said her voice straining and breaking with the words. _

_ "Rachel, I have to go," he quickly cut her off, his heart pounding everything in him screaming to stay on the phone with her and take back everything he'd just told her. "Go be a star, Rachel. Go do what makes you happy, and don't worry about me." He whispered into the phone and moved it from his ear to hang it up, catching her last word and letting them resonate in his mind._

_ "But I love you."_

Their last conversation flashed through both of their minds as they stood their face to face. A mixture of shock and confusion still hiding behind Finn's half cocked smile, as Rachel tried to maintain poise and not fall apart right there in front of him.

"I missed you too," she repeated, the words hanging in the air for a few seconds before Finn finally y managed to process them

"What are you… I mean how did you… I mean here…" He stammered trying to form a complete sentence while what he was certain was the distinct fog that only Rachel Berry could create entered his brain. He took a moment and made an attempt to clear the fog, looking her up and down, studying her features and her dress. She was still as beautiful as ever, she still looked exactly like his Rachel. A slightly more adult and toned down version of his Rachel, as her simple jeans and halter top was more of a blend into the background outfit, than the look at me knee socks and skirts from her days with him. But her hair, her makeup, the simplicity of her was still there. And she was still able to knock the air out of his chest with her beauty. Finn let out a small chuckle and shook his head. Staring at Rachel certainly wasn't helping his brain clear the fog; in fact it was only making it worse. Letting out a held breath and giving another nervous chuckle Finn shook his head. "Sorry, I'm just…" He paused again. "Damnit why can't I say words," he said aloud to himself not realizing he was saying them out loud. "I have them, they're in my head, right there, I see them. Why won't they come out. Hi, Rachel, how have you been? How did you find me? Why are you here? It's been six years what have you been up too?" He rambled.

"Finn." Rachel said loudly and firmly. "Finn!" She repeated loud enough to grab his attention, her heart melting as he looked at her with that same dumbfounded confused look he used to always give her when she said his name too harshly. Her lips turned up into a wide smile as she laughed out, "You're talking to yourself."

"Oh," he responded, a blush slowly creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks.

"It's been a long time Finn," she said softly watching his cheeks turn red and smiling softly at him as an awkward silence started to take shape between them. While she might have been holding her own in front of him, on the inside Rachel lacked composure just as much as Finn. Her mind was racing a thousand things she wanted to say to him, a million things she wanted to do with him, she casually thought. Shaking the images from her head. His physical appearance hadn't changed much, he was more muscular, his face slightly weathered and showing a bit of age. The three day stubble that lined his face, showed his obvious disregard for shaving, but she thought it was kind of sexy. He was still sexy, she thought letting out a deep sigh unsure of what to say next.

Finn looked around for a moment as the bar started to get more crowded and the music coming from the speakers started to get louder. He opened his mouth to speak but his words were cut off by the sharp sound of an electric guitar, and the sound of a voice coming through a microphone. Rachel shrugged her shoulders, as Finn leaned into her ear, practically yelling so she could hear him. "These guys suck, do you wanna go for a walk?"

Picking up her purse from the table Rachel nodded and pointed towards the door. Finn held up a finger at her, before placing his hands on her shoulders in a silent gesture that told her to stay put for a moment as he pushed in way through the crowd in the direction of Ste and Maddie. The gesture was a gesture he didn't have to make because Rachel knew that for at least tonight there was no way she was going anywhere without him. So she patiently waited, well as patiently as she could. Her stomach was nervous and antsy, and now that Finn was no longer standing in front of her she realized her hands were trembling. Closing her eyes she took several deep breaths, trying to quickly relive some of her calmest moments in life to soothe her nerves. It wasn't helping much that so many of those moments she always drew upon involved him. Lost in her moments, she jumped startled as a hand landed on her shoulder. Her eyes flung open, but she didn't have to look to know the touch. Rachel wasn't sure if the feeling of his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her leading her towards the door was helping or hurt her nerves but the only thing she did know was she sure as hell didn't want the feeling to go away.

"Sorry it was really loud in there," Finn said boyishly as he let go of her shoulders and moved to walk next to her. "There's a place a few blocks up that serves coffee and stays open late we could go there."

"You drink coffee now?" She asked in a quizzical manner.

Finn looked over at her his face reddening again and the boyish grin creeping back. "No, I still think coffee's pretty gross and something only old people drink. Well old people and people who want to look old and I refuse to be old at such a young age and…" Finn stopped himself a laughed a little. "Wow I'm doing it again aren't I?" He asked studying Rachel face and her expression as she nodded slightly at him with a grin. "You still make me nervous." He said his voice ringing honest, as he realized the questions floating through the air with his simple declaration. "We're like practically on campus right now, we could just go walk around the campus for a little bit. We don't have to talk we could just walk, until I don't sound like a bumbling idiot every time I open my mouth."

"You don't sound like an idiot Finn." Rachel quickly replied and shook her head at him. "You sound like…" She paused wondering for a moment if she should even make her next statement. "You sound like my Finn."

He stopped abruptly in his tracks as she spoke. Her voice was barely a whisper but the words were a loudspeaker in Finn's mind. Six years later and giving her up was still his biggest regret. No, he thought to himself. Giving up on her, he reworded himself in his mind. He watched as Rachel turned around an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry I…"

"No," Finn said quickly cutting her off. "Don't be." He shook his head as his mouth hand open slightly waiting to speak again. "I wanna show you something. Take a ride with me?" He asked cocking his head to one side and raising an eyebrow ay her, and waiting. There was no hesitation in her response, it didn't even need words. Finn met her smile with one of his own and nodded in the opposite direction of the one they were walking. "Come on."

Rachel watched as he nodded in the direction and extended his hand out to her. All of her nerves, and hesitation washed away. Everything she had felt up to that point was erased as she reached forward and slide her hand into his, the feeling sending shockwaves through her entire body, her muscles instantly relaxing in a way they hadn't in years. "Where to?" She smiled as he began to tug her in the opposite direction.

Finn gave her a cryptic smile and shook his head "You'll see."


	6. Chapter 4

"Finn where are we?" Rachel asked with a genuine curiosity as Finn drove them deeper into what seemed to be the middle of complete nowhere. Turning her head she glanced out the back window of the truck then moved her head to look out of the passenger window and then finally looking forward seeing nothing but blackness and trees surrounding them with no sign of civilization anywhere in sight. She watched and as looked briefly in her direction, tilting his head towards her in a manner that said 'stop asking' before he looked back at the road. Rachel smiled slightly and shook her head, before giving him an extremely confused look as he pulled the truck to a stop on the side of the road. "I think you should know I've upgraded my rape whistle, I carry mace now," she said nervously fumbling with her purse.

Finn laughed loudly at her and shook his head before reaching for her fumbling hands. "Rach, come on."

Again with the smallest touch of his hand to hers Rachel felt her entire body relax and calm down. And while she enjoyed the sensations, a part of her hated the fact that he could still have that effect on her after so long. Finn could feel her skin ripple underneath his finger tips as he softly ran his fingers across the back of her hand to calm her.

"I told you I wanted to show you something," he said reassuringly as he reached behind the seat retrieving a worn out throw blanket and opening the doors getting out and walking around to her side. "Just follow me. And leave the mace." Smiling down at her he made a head motion in the direction they'd be walk.

Rachel laughed slightly and put her purse down on the floor board, looking back up at him with questioning eyes but still followed him as they started to walk through the tall grass, trying to figure out where exactly they were going or what she was suppose to be looking for. "Finn I didn't exactly expect to be doing any kind of hiking," she said reaching for his shoulders to steady herself as she stumbled forward her shoes giving way to the ground.

"Don't worry were just about…" He paused taking a few more steps forward before fanning out the blanket where the grass and the levee made even ground. "There." He said pointing out at the view of the city lights reflecting in the river. "Best view in the city." Finn said motions his hand out in a motion of pride presentation.

Rachel widened her eyes and took in her surroundings. She's travelled the country, she'd seen city skylines hundreds of times, and it was a scene that wasn't unfamiliar or even special in theory. But as she looked out over the river and watched the lights dance in its moving water, she noticed this was different. The was no noise or hustle and bustle that usually went along with city skylines, the only sounds she could make out were those of crickets, the moving river, and louder than anything else, the sound of Finn breath. Rachel smiled and moved to sit down on the blanket. "It's beautiful."

Finn beamed proudly at her reaction to his hiding place. "I found it by accident when I first came here. I got lost, surprising I know," he joked before continuing on. "I come here every time I need a break from life. The whole world just seems to stand still when I'm out here, like I'm the only person left."

"But you're not," she said softly looking up at her, feeling herself get doe eyed and smile. "I'm here too."

Finn nodded and moved to sit down next to her, propping his feet up and wrapping his arms around his knees, locking his hands together and looking over at her."You're right you are." He quietly remarks looking at her a small half smile on his face. There was so much to say, so many questioning to ask, so many things to know. And yet for that moment the silence between them seemed to be enough.

Smiling back at him Rachel let their moment of silence linger before reaching over and playfully push his shoulder. "I bet you've brought hundreds of girls here Mr. Big Shot quarterback musician." She playfully quipped and watched with a raised eyebrow as he shook his head.

"Nope," He said simply and shook his head. "No one, until now."

Letting out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding Rachel closed her eyes and felt her body quiver at his words. For the last six year she'd told herself she was over him. That it was a long time ago and he didn't mean anything to her any more other than a succession of memories. She hadn't come there with the intentions of getting him back. She wanted closure, or at least that's what she had told herself when she bought the ticket. She wanted closure. Closure she didn't get when he hung up the phone that day, closure she felt like she needed to move on so she could finally stop lying to herself about being over him and get over him. Rachel knew her reasoning for walking back into his life were selfish but wasn't the way he'd left hers selfish, an eye for an eye she thought. Or again tried to convince herself, but the feeling that coursed through her body said something completely different. It was ridiculous of her to sit there and think of what might have been, and even more ridiculous to think of what could be. Closure, she told herself quietly in her mind, she wanted closure but more than anything she wanted to know, "Finn," she said softly finally breaking their silence and waiting until his eyes were turned to hers before continuing. "Are you happy?"

Finn cocked his head to one side and looked at her; he knew her face by heart still, every curve, every line, every fleck in her eyes. He watched for a second as the distant city lights created shadows on her face. "I'm content." He said. "I know my place; I have a plan or something like it." Turning his head he looked away from her and out over the water, "I'm content. And I'm okay with that. But I haven't been happy, truly happy, in a long time."

"Since you hurt your knee?" Rachel asked shifting her body to where she was no long facing the water, watching as his body tensed up a bit. As she opened her mouth to speak she reached forward placing a calming hand on his shoulder. "I saw it," she answered quickly. "I was doing a student production of Pippin; our cast party was at a bar that was showing your game that night." She swallowed hard and remembered the terror she felt that night and how her eyes had been glued to the television as they took him off the field on a stretcher. The way she had frantically left the cast party that evening and called Kurt every ten minutes until he finally had news to tell her, then begged him not to tell Finn she'd called. Shaking the memory from her mind she looked back up at him and ran her hand slowly down his back. "It's okay; you don't have to talk about it."

Finn shook his head and then turned to look at her, the feeling of her hand running down his back causing the muscles to tense and relax as it left a trail of heat lingering on his skin. "No even before that," he said quietly lowering his head and turning it towards her before slowly looking up. A hard lump formed in his throat as he realized what he wanted to say, what he was going to say, choking it back he blew a soft breath from his nose and shook his head softly again, "Since you." He whispered quietly.

Rachel felt her eyes fall closed, the sting of tears forming behind them as chills ran through her body at his words. This wasn't what she came for, she told herself again. That wasn't what she wanted to her. She knew it; she would have sworn it to anyone who asked. But there's only so long you can lie to yourself before the truth comes pushing through like a flash flood. And those words were the key to the flood gates of Rachel's emotions. An uncontrollable rush ran through her body, flashes of memory, flashes of moments with him, moments without him, moments she wished he'd been there. They'd missed so much of each other's lives, so many things, so much time. It didn't make sense to her, she wasn't the same person she was six years ago and neither was he, she knew that but somehow in that moment with those words, none of it mattered. It was with those words that had fallen so softly from his lips that Rachel Berry realized it wasn't just that she had never gotten over him; she had never even stopped loving him. Choking back the emotion Rachel opened her eyes and looked into his reaching forward and running her hand down his cheek, his stumble tickling her fingers a small reminder of their time apart. "Tell me everything." She said hoarsely as she moved her hand back up his face and rested it on his cheek, "The last six years, tell me everything."

Finn leaned his face into her hand as it caressed his face, his breathing stilled as a soft purr came from his chest. Locking eyes with her he nodded before moving forward and brushing his nose against hers, feeling her pull back slightly then move back in with her head at a tilt. He could feel the warmth of her breath against his lips sending currents through every fiber of his body, for a second he even had a brief flash of the mailman, something that hadn't happened since high school. Curving his lips out, he brushed them against hers and hearing the sound of her breath hitch and get caught in her chest as he very softly moved in her lips meeting his halfway and setting his entire world on fire.


	7. Chapter 5

"See those lights out there?" Finn asked taking an arm from around her and pointing out across the river.

Rachel followed his hand with her eyes and lifted her hand off his knew pointing out into the distant, "Those?" she asked lifting her head up off of his chest and looking up at him.

"Yeah, those." Finn nods bringing his hand back in and smoothing his fingers those her hair letting his fingers get lost and tangled in as his hand slowly made its way through her hair landing on her shoulder and wrapping around her pulling the her back against his chest. "I played in 26 games in that stadium. Started 20 of them, threw for 3167 yards and 44 touchdowns in that stadium." He rattles off, a slight smile on his face and strong sense of pride in his voice, before he sighed and dropped his tone down. "I knew ya know," he said taking in a deep breath inhaling the scent of her hair. Smiling to himself as he realized that she still used the same shampoo she'd used since high school. "As soon as I hit the ground, I knew last was my last game. I felt it pop, it was the most agonizing pain I'd every felt in my life. I thought I was going to pass out." He cleared his throat and released his breath turning his eyes from the side of her face, out to the water looking back at those familiar stadium lights.

Rachel nestled her head into his chest, her fingers unwittingly tracing the circle of his kneecap through his jeans, and she slid her body harder against his and continued to listen, taking in every word and memorizing everything there was to know about this moment. She wasn't sure how long it had been since they had stopped kissing and started talking, hours, it could have been days even, she didn't care. The feeling of theatres full of standing ovations and applause didn't even come close to what she felt in the pit of her stomach when she felt Finn's lips against hers for the first time in years. She wasn't even quite sure how it'd happen, everything before that moment was all fuzzy, like his lips had sent static electricity into her brain and scrambled everything. But she was sure that she was going to capture and vividly store everything from his lips against hers onward. So he began talking and she listened intently, listening had never been and still wasn't her strong suit, but she felt like she could just listen to Finn talk forever, every syllable he spoke echoing through her ears. They had started off sitting side by side, and somewhere between his first college A and his first college Bowl game, she had wandered her way in front of him laying back against his chest with her arms resting against his long legs and his arms dangling around her shoulders. It was a position that felt odd and yet familiar at the same time. Crammed and yet comfortable, and if she leaned her head back in just the right way she could hear the sound of his heartbeat. It hadn't stopped pounding since the first time she twisted her ear against his chest. Occasionally he would pause long enough for her to ask a question, but mostly she had just let him talk, and she listened wanting to know everything.

"…So after football I was pretty lost. The last 3 years of my life had been all about football. When I wasn't in class, it was football practice, or weight training, or watching film or reading a playbook. I completely lived football. And I was never going to play the game competitively again. I felt like I had nothing, hell I was majoring in Interdisciplinary Studies, they call that the dumb jock major. Because major of scholarship athletes are IS majors. It's a major made up of three minors, which basically meant I took whatever I wanted to keep my grades up. I had absolutely no clue what I was going to do. Then I went home to Lima, it was the first winter I'd gotten to go home for more than just the week of Christmas in three years and I saw Mr. Shue." Finn's lips curled into a half smile. "And… he's really good at making sure I'm on the right path ya know. I think about things in my life that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Mr. Shue. And I realized I wanted to be like him. Most of the classes I'd taken had been music and psychology classes, but I had few education classes and I thought maybe I could make good use of an Interdisciplinary Studies degree if I minored in Music, Psych, and Education. So I did. And somehow I even managed to get into the Master's in Education program too. Guess the dumb kid from Lima, Ohio hasn't done too bad for himself." He playfully shrugged. "It's funny though, when I was in high school there were only two things I really really wanted, one of them was to get out of Ohio. Then I got down here and other than the weather, and it took me a while to get used to the food. They eat some really weird things down here like crawfish and everything is spicy. EVERYTHING." He said widening his eyes. "But other than that, it's not that much different than Lima."

Rachel opened her eyes and laughed slightly as he finished speaking, "What was the other thing?" She asked softly almost as if she was afraid if she spoke too loud she would wake herself up from this wonderful dream.

With a half cocked smile on his face he looked down before reaching up and pushing her face to look at him, "Like you don't know it was you." He said with half a laugh before continuing on. "So your turn, you can skip your college years unless there's something super secret that you didn't broadcast all over Facebook." He admitted biting his lip.

"Finn Hudson," she squeaked playfully slap his leg. "You Facebook stalked me all through college and never once thought to send me a message, if one just to say hello?"

Finn shrugged his shoulders, "I wanted to, I was just… scared. Did your dads ever tell you that I saw them every summer for the five years I spent in undergrad?"

"What?" She said raising an eyebrow and shaking her heads a smile dancing across her face before the confusion set in. "No they never said a word."

"Every summer, I usually wasn't home long maybe three weeks, maybe a month. The first summer I went home my mom and I ran into your dads at the grocery store. They mentioned something about needing to cut the grass, and I offered my services. So once a week every week I was home I would go over to your house and cut your dads grass for them. They always tried to pay me I never let them though. Truth be told I did because I was hoping maybe once when I went over there…"

"I'd be home."

Finn nodded slightly at her finishing his sentence. "Yea that you'd be home and I think they knew that too… But you never came home; it seemed like our summer schedules never matched up. So between your dads and Facebook you can skip college the years. Everything up until about 3 years ago, then you kinda disappeared it's like that age as been frozen in time." He joked looking down at her and quizzically raising his eyebrow at her, "So…"

"So I guess it's my turn? Is that what you're saying?" Rachel turned her face up to him and readjusted her body against him. "I don't have some big fancy stadium to point out to you I didn't account for anything of this otherwise I'd have brought you my fancy book of airplane boarding passes and hotel card keys I've collected over the years. I was auditioning and did bits parts in smaller and off Broadway productions all through college as much as I could. And it paid off, the same week I graduated college I got picked up and offering an ensemble part in a touring production of RENT, ensemble turned into lead, and lead turned into three years on the road with the show. 738 performances, in 42 different cities in three years," she said mimicking his tone. "See I have my own set of statics." She said confidence booming from her voice. "It might not be exactly what I planned but in every one of those theatres I was a star, and I got used to that. Now it's back to Broadway, pounding the pavement, auditioning, checking in with my agent and trying to become a star again. The kind that counts."

"Again? Rachel, you've never been anything but a star." Finn looked down as the light flickered off her hair and face; he was pretty sure at that moment she actually was shining. Licking his lips he started to move back into kiss her again watching as her eyes slipped closed and she waited with anticipation and baited breath. Brushing his lips softly against her cheek, he stopped and pulled back the question that started this whole conversation ringing in his mind. "So…" paused and shifted their bodies so he could look into her eyes, "Are you happy?"

Rachel took a deep breath and reached her hand up to his face again, using her finger tips and tracing the small lines of wrinkles that hadn't been there the last time she'd seen him, down the corner of his eyes and trailing it along the line of his jaw before finally dragging it back down to her lap and sighing. "Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, ask me tomorrow." She answered sheepishly shrugging her shoulders. "When I'm on stage I'm always happy. I can't think of a single solitary time when I've been on a stage performing and not been happy. But when I'm off stage sometimes, I wonder what I'm doing with the rest of my life. You know how you talked about living football for three years? Well I've lived for performing my whole life, and for the last three years I've been living this show and now it's over and I have no clue what I'm going to do." She gave a soft laugh and rested her forehead and against his shoulder briefly before looking up at him again. "I guess we're not that different there, except you've got in figured out already and I'm just now starting over."

"Is that why you came here?" He asked drawing his face away from hers and studying her expression. "Because you're lost so you came to find me?" Finn clears his throat and pressed his lips together, thinking about the entire situation replaying the night in his head. "Why did you come here Rachel? After six years why did you come here?" He asks softly swallowing hard and gazing down at her a questioning intensity in his eyes.

"Because…" She paused her eyes were closed but she could still feel his eyes on her in a way that both made her nervous and excited at the same time. Releasing her breath in a sigh she looked up at him and tilted her head. "You know in the movies when the guy screws up he always realizes then comes back to whisk the love of his life off her feet in some grand romantic gesture." Her words coming out quickly and hanging in the air. Listening to herself as they left her lips Rachel would have sworn she was fifteen again and giving him a lecture in the hallway of McKinley High School. "Well I waited six years for him to realize he screwed up and give me his big romantic gesture. Eventually you just get sick of waiting and have to take matters into your own hands you know." She said tilting her head at him with a quick nod before turning her face away from him and looking out over the water. Rachel could tell by the reflection of the moon in the flowing water that it was late, maybe even close to sunrise by now, silently she wondered how much more time she would have with him. Sighing she kept her eyes out over the water as she began to speak again, "I came because I missed you Finn. I came because I was lying in a hotel bed alone, and what had been my life had just ended and I had no idea what I was going to do with myself. And I laid awake alone for hours, and I wish I could tell you that was the first time I'd laid awake alone but it wasn't. I'd been lying awake at night alone for the last six years. I'd tried to tell myself that I was over you. I tried to tell myself that I hated that you broke my heart and that you were a selfish asshole and that I was a star and it didn't matter. I tried to lie to myself." By the time she spoke those words her voice had soften speaking barely above a whisper and all the confidence had been replaced with a shaky unsteady voice. "I wanted to be over you so badly that I did what I did best, I threw myself into performing, I absorbed myself with the theatre and I let it become my whole life because when it was my whole life I could ignore the fact that at night when I laid awake alone in a hotel bed something was missing. I told myself I was coming here for closure so I could move on since I finally had the time to move on. But I didn't even have to see you to know I had been lying to myself. The second I heard your voice coming from that stage, it felt like I couldn't breathe because it wasn't just that I missed you, it was that I'd been missing you." Finally saying the words, Rachel opened her eyes, the slightest hint of tears glistening in the corners as she turned to look at Finn reaching forward and sliding her hand into his intertwining their fingers together the sensations of it feeling as natural as it ever did. "I didn't even realize why I was here until I got here. I never fell out of love with you, Finn. And now I don't think you ever fell out of love with me either. And maybe we are different people than we were six years ago; we have to be because six years I didn't get on the first flight I could find to be with you. And now I got on the first flight I could find just to lay my eyes on you. That has to be some kind of growth right?" She pressed her lips together in an unsure smile as she tried to study his reaction, the lines and creases of his face moving and changing as she watched every possible emotion flash through his face.

Finn reached forward brushing a stray hair from Rachel face and opening his mouth to speak, but before the words could leave his mouth their moment was interrupted by the loud ringing of the cell phone in his pocket. Closing his eyes he gave a groan and pulled his hand away from her face. "That's Ste, its important or he would have text me," he mumbled knowing immediately from the ring tone as he's reached into his pocket to answer it watching Rachel as she sank down onto the blanket and played with her fingers, listening to Ste's voice on the other end of the line. "Alright I'll be there in a few minutes." he said hanging up and looking at Rachel. "We really lost track of time, it's almost four in morning," he said pressing an apologetic smile at Rachel. "Ste's drunk and needs someone to pick him, so…" the sound of disappoint obvious in his voice as he nodded in the direction on his truck.

"So you get to go play taxi," she said trying to hide her disappointment with a slight laugh standing up and watching as he folded the blanket and tucked it over his arm offering his hand to her as they started to walk back towards his truck. Taking his hand Rachel turned her head and took one last look at his spot on the levee, "Hey Finn," she said softly as the lights of the city started to fade, waiting until he turned his face towards her before finishing, "You were right, it is like time stand still back there." Her voice whispered not even sure he heard her until he nodded and ever so slowly his lips twisted in that all too familiar crooked half grin.


	8. Chapter 6

A/N: Again the song lyrics aren't mine. It's called All I Want by Curtis Peoples and it fit very well with what I was trying to do with this scene. More to come. Enjoy.

"Look I'm really sorry about Ste," Finn apologized pulling his truck to a stop in front of Rachel's hotel. "He was really drunk; he's usually not like that. Believe it or not he's usually really quiet. I mean he has his moments where he's a complete sarcastic asshole and I'm pretty sure he still thinks I'm the dumbest person alive most of the time but he's a really good guy." He sheepishly shrugs as he looks over at Rachel fiddling with her hands and smiling as she looked at him. The smile of her face cause a blush to creep up on his, and he was certain that by the way his heart hadn't stopped pounding in hours, he was going to have a heart attack. He'd seen that look on her face before, it was the look that made him feel like he was the only man alive, like he could do no wrong and conquer the world. She was sitting there in his truck looking at him the way she used to.

"No, it's okay he was actually kinda funny. Well the part where you told him who I was and he went on for ten minutes about how you'd been pining and writing horrible sappy songs that made him want to shoot himself, was a little awkward but other than that he was kinda funny." Rachel nods and takes a deep breath looking away from Finn's gaze and out the window at the front doors of her hotel. Dreading the part of the night where she had to get out of his truck and go lay down in another hotel bed alone. "It's getting really late." She said quietly just to put an end to the awkward silence she'd created.

"I don't think it's really late, I think it's really early now. You should probably go get some sleep soon, God forbid you don't get enough and hold me responsible for a wrinkle; I think that's an offense punishable by death." He quipped back at her wiggling his head forward in her direction and pressing a slight grin at her.

"Yea I probably should," she whispered softly looking down at the seat for a moment contemplating her next words and trying to choose them carefully, all of her thoughts lost as she felt his fingers underneath her chin sending sparks through her body as he forced her face up to look at him, meeting his eyes with her own and getting lost in them for the split second she had before they feel closed and his lips were against hers again. Rachel would have sworn to anyone that she could be blindfolded and forced to kiss a hundred guys to pick out which one was Finn and even after all these years she'd still know the feeling of his lips against hers. And the soft sounds that came with breaths in between kisses. And the feeling it caused inside her. The way everything in her reacted to his kiss, not just her lips, or body, but everything about her. Her heart, and mind, every piece of her was completely involved in the response every time he kissed her. And it had been so long since she'd gotten to kiss him that the reactions were even strong than she remembered them. Her hands moved and tangled into his hair tugging at it and pulling him closer as her body moved closer against them, the heat and passion like that of the two hormonal teenagers they used to be, filling up his small truck. She could feel his hands slide down her back and his finger tips reach a small portion of exposed skin on her lower back. The feeling of them tracing around her flesh, send the static electricity back to her back and scrambling everything else but the feeling of him. Breaking away completely breathless Rachel runs her hair from his hair and down to his chest rested it there softly as she caught her breath and looked into his eyes getting completely lost and consumed by him. "You can walk me up to me room if you want too."

The words caused Finn's lips to curl as he watched her say them, the sound ringing familiar as the memory of the first time he kissed her flashing through his mind. She had said it the same way with the same general implication back then. Pulling his arms from around her he reached up and stroked a finger down her face and shook his head slightly. "I want too." He said back and let out a breath hearing his own sixteen year old self in his words, snapping him back to reality. As much as he had wanted to kiss her back then, it hadn't been his smartest move when he did. And as much as he wanted to walk her up to her room tonight, he knew that probably wasn't a smart move either. He shook his head, "I want too, but I don't know if that's a good idea." He said letting a slightly questioning and apologetic half smile come with his shrug.

With his words Rachel felt her heart sink and the trance she'd been in all evening lift. They were sixteen anymore, and they couldn't just spend every night hiding out on some hidden levee with a view. They were adults and a lot of life had passed and they both had lives, or something like them. She let out a loud and obviously disappointed sigh before sliding away from him. "You're probably right, probably not a good idea. None of this was probably a good idea. It was horribly selfish for me to even show up here and disrupt your life the way I have. What was I thinking?" She rattles out in one long spill without ever taking a breath. "I should go." She said nodding quickly and grabbing her purse as she opened the door and jumped out of his truck. "Have a nice life Finn." She said quickly and disappeared into the hotel before Finn ever had a chance to respond.

Finn sat in his truck staring at the passenger seat his eyes glasses over looking out the window as he tried to process the last thirty seconds and what had just happened. What had just gone wrong? Completely confused he started his truck still in a complete daze as he started to drive off. "Rachel always did have a flare for the dramatics," he said out loud beginning to talk to himself. "I'll just let her cool off and I'll call the hotel in the morning and talk to her. Take her to lunch, I mean I was just trying to be a nice guy." He said catching sight of his own eyes in the rear view mirror as he stopped at a red light. "What are you Hudson?" He harshly asked himself.

Opening the heavy hotel door, Rachel sulked into her room tossing her purse onto the table and walking off in the direction of the bathroom to remove her makeup and wash her face before lying down. Leaving the bathroom she crouched down by her suitcase in search of pajamas when out of the corner of her eyes she noticed the CD lying on the ground. It was Finn's; one of the three she'd bought must have fallen from her purse. Picking it up she traced her fingers over his picture and quickly retrieved her laptop opening the disc drive and placing the CD in, her ITunes reading it and automatically setting the playlist to randomize the tracks. She glanced as it started with track 7 the last track on the disc. Looking at the monitor, she wondered for a minute what the song was called, but didn't have the energy to look as his voice filled with room and she collapsed onto her empty hotel bed.

_"Stand up and take bow, your beauty deserves a crowd. I said it once I said for all time all time. No one's wanted you more…"_

All it took was his voice, Rachel laughed at herself slightly. She wasn't sixteen and naïve anymore and still all it took was the sound of her voice to build her whole world up and make her heart swell. She let out as sigh listening to his song, trying to keep her composure, just wanting to enjoy the sound of his voice. There was going to be a time where she was going to have to deal with her emotions and let herself fall apart but right then she just wanted to let herself get lost in the sound of his voice.

_"Your dark hair around me now. The one kiss that you allow. I hold the word until it's alright alright. Now I know that this love's all about. And I'm trying to hold, trying to hold on til you wrap yourself around. Trying to hold on, trying to hold on, can you feel me in your heart..."_

Rachel moved her face and as she did the smell of his scent still lingered on her clothes as she curled herself into a ball, running her fingers over her lips feeling them still tingle from the way his hand been against them. She felt the first tear roll down and stop it's flow block by the way she was tracing her own face mimicking the way Finn had earlier that evening. Closing her eyes all she could see was the two of them wrapped up together watching the river in his hiding spot. A spot he'd never taken anyone else, or at least that's what he had told her. She wanted to start lying to herself again telling herself that the night hadn't meant anything to him, and she had gotten her closure. But her tears and her heart would allow it. And even if they had been able to allow it the sound of his voice filling the room certainly wasn't going to allow it. So instead of lying to herself, she simply let the emotion pour and let the tears flow. As the song got louder, her sobs got harder, only to be broken by the sound of a sharp knock on the door. Rachel jumped up, realizing how loud her music and tears had been, she quickly tried to compose herself fully expecting a hotel employee outside her room. But when she swung the door open she didn't have time to start apologizing for the noise. She barely had time to do anything but let out a small gasp of surprise, "Finn."

His name fell from her lips in a breathy gasp. There was no time left for her to say anything else before his lips were against hers and his hands were tangled in her hair, his body pressing against hers as she gave way and moved with him back into her room. He could taste the salt of tears on her lips and a pang of guilt hit his stomach. Breaking the kiss and gasping for air Finn stopped moving both his hands to cup her face, searching her eyes, his gazing burning into her as he quickly sought out the right words to say, words that weren't needed. Words he knew weren't needed when he felt her lips back on his and her body guiding him deeper into them room, his voice and his song still filling the air.

_"All I want is you. I've waited forever to say the words that we both know are true. The only thing that matter is standing somewhere right in front of you. Everything I do is because all I want is you. All I want is you."_


	9. Chapter 7

A content sigh feel from her lips as she watched her finger lazily trace patterns over his bare chest, listening as he softly hummed along with the music coming from her computer speakers. Closing her eyes Rachel rests her head back down concentrating on the sound of his heartbeat in her ear. She knew this was one of those moments, those days that you wanted to memorize every detail of. One of those moments that if she could have she would have bottled in up in a jar so she could take the jar out and watch this moment anytime she wanted to. There was a comfort over her that she had felt in years, a peaceful sense as she was surrounded by familiar feelings. The way she fit perfectly in the crook of his arm, the way his fingers felt playing with her hair. The feeling of her smooth leg casually gliding up and down his. There had been a silence between them for some time now but it was a comfortable silence. The room still filled with the scents of sweat and desire, as Rachel sighed again, this time getting Finn's attention and causing him to look down at her questioningly.

"Does this count as spending the night together?" She softly whispered, her hot breath on his chest causing the small hairs all over his body to stand up.

Sliding his hand out of her hair and down her back Finn raises an eyebrow and looks up at the ceiling for a moment before a soft chuckle fell from his chest, "It's 3:30 in the afternoon, but ummm I guess so. Why?" He says with a playfully questions smile.

"Just wondering." She whispers softly before raising her head and looking up at him. "As many nights as I spent on the road sleeping in hotel beds, I never spent the night with anyone." She laughed as she saw Finn's eyebrow arched up in an overly shocked manner and he cocked his head in a questioning manner. Tapping her hand lightly against his chest in a reassuring manner Rachel shakes her head, "Don't freak out, I'm not say you were the last, just like I'm not going to fool myself and think I was the last. I dated in college, I was even with someone else for the last year and half I was in school. I just meant like since I went on the road. Since I went on the road I've never spent the night with someone." A blush creeping over her face as she rambled out the last part of her sentence, and buried her face in his chest laughing at herself and looking up. "I was just trying to say you're my first." She paused looking up and studying the amused look on his face, shaking her head slightly and turning her tone soft and serious. "No one ever compared to you Finn. As bad as it hurt when you hung up the phone and ended everything just like that, as much as that killed me inside and as much as I wanted to hate you I never could hate you. I never could stop wanting to be with you, I would wonder what you were doing, who you were with. I did that a lot at first… well that was after I spent a month in my room crying myself to sleep at night. It sucked, and it hurt badly, it was… the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life and it wasn't physical so it wasn't like I could take a pill and make it go away. Because trust me if I could have I would have, I think you're part of the reason I stayed out on the road so long. My life stayed unstable and busy and so I didn't have to spend m energy trying to get over you the way I'd had to before." She said softly dropping her head back down against his chest and taking in a deep breath his smell bombarding her senses. "I never wanted to have to feel that way again." Her voice was barely above at whisper and she wasn't even sure he could still hear her voice. "I still don't ever want to feel that way again."

Finn looked down at her, seeing the pained expression on her face causing him to curse himself in his mind. His hand idly ran down her back and along her arms trying to still her mind and silently comfort her. "I was scared. I was in a completely foreign environment, I was trying to handle all this new stuff and new pressure and deep down inside I still felt like I was always going to be just some dumb kid from Ohio. You were the star and I was just something that was going to make you burn out quicker. And I know that may sound like a bunch of bull but that was honestly part of why I never answered your calls after I hung up. That and I knew all it would take would have been the sound of your voice and I'd have been on the first flight to New York I could find to comfort you. There's been other girls over the years Rachel, but when you say no one compared to me I know exactly what you mean because no one ever compared to you. And I could hang onto my hope for you because I cut your dads grass." He says letting out a small laugh. "Because every summer I cut your dads grass and they knew I was looking for you and they kept letting me come over and cut the grass. I figured the day they told me I didn't need to come cut their grass anymore would be their way of tell me you'd moved on and they never did. They let me cut grass." A small smile formed on Finn's face as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, feeling her shiver under his lips, he tucked the blankets in tighter around them. "When do you have to go back to New York?"

Rachel shrugged slightly lifting her head and adjusting her body against his so she could look into his eyes, "I'm on an extended vacation. I was going to go see my dads for at least couple of weeks after my show ended, but I ended up coming here first. At some point I have to go back and get an apartment again, audition again, start my life over in a way. But I've got enough money saved to live on for at least a year, maybe a year and a half and I shouldn't be out of work for that long. But if affords me the chance to try and wait until something I really want comes along and not take the first job I get because I have bills to pay."

"So does that mean you can hang around her for a few days? Or weeks? Or forever?" Finn said only half joking. "Look Rachel I know tonight and today it's just one day and maybe we're moving too fast and maybe there has been too much time and… One thing I've learned is life is just a big series of maybes and what ifs unless you take charge and stop worrying about maybes and what ifs. I know that this," he said firmly and pointed between them. "This means something, and it means just as much to you as it does to me and I don't end it to end when I get up and walk out of that door. So we can lay here and think maybe or what if all night but… Have dinner with me?" He asks sitting up in the bed and putting his hands on her shoulders pointing her to look square at him. "You don't have to rush back to New York, and I'm not trying to cut in on your dads time but… Rachel Berry I'm asking you out on a date. Tonight. Have dinner with me?"

Rachel laughed quietly her lips pressed together as she shook her head and felt the blush creep across her face, "Do you know how long it's been since I've been asked out on a date?" She giggled slightly the blush on her face creeping all over her body as she shook her head without even realizing it, words getting caught in her throat as she tried to speak finally giggling and taking a deep breath. "How is it you still do this to me? Yes, Finn Hudson I will go out on a date with you." She said in an overly proper manner before laughing and burying her head against his shoulder, kissing it slightly before letting her kisses move softly up his neck, "But don't go… Not yet." She whispers her lips still sucking at his skin as her hand slid up his back.

"Wouldn't even think about it." He mumbles wrapping his arms around her and pulling them both back down onto the bed.


	10. Chapter 8

"Finn seriously that thing is nothing but sugar and ice, it has no nutritional value," Rachel laughed and shook her head as he yet again offered her a bite of his snowball.

Finn shook his head and grinned at her proudly displaying his blue stained teeth, "Not true, I had them put condensed milk on it, that has to give it some kind of nutritional value," he played shook his head and pushed the spoon toward her again. "Just try it Rach," he said playfully raised an eyebrow and grazing her lips with the spoon.

Rachel pressed her lips tightly together, "No way." She said quickly before pressing her lips back together and shaking her head at him, watching as he shrugged at her and took another bite.

"Fine you loss," Finn playful tucked the cup in his lap away from her reach and continued to eat, mid-bite when he felt a hand on his face turning it to look at her, barely having time to process the sensations on his lips as they parted making room for hers, leaning into the kiss getting deeper back the second his sugar treat all but forgotten. His hands moved up to tangle into her hair as she slid onto his lap and ran her fingers through the sides on his hair before pulling away and breaking their kiss, leaving him wanting more and desperately trying to recapture her lips against his.

Smiling as she pulled away she shook her head at him and licked her lips, "You're right it does taste rather good," playfully smacking her lips together and wrapping her arms around his neck dropping her head down onto his shoulder and letting out a soft sigh. Three days had passed since she'd walked into the bar and back into his life, letting him back into hers. Three days, they shared seven meals, made love five times, and that kiss was on its own kiss number fifty six. Rachel knew because she was counting. She knew she could get used to this, spending day in and day out with Finn, she knew that a part of her was already used to this. Turning her head on his shoulder she leaned in and kissed his neck softly, hearing him let out a soft purr as her lips touched his skin sent her stomach into flips. If she could freeze time right there in that moment she would she thought to herself. A thought she'd had countless times over the last few days. It was a whirlwind in her head everything from the moment she walked into the bar, was a huge whirlwind in her mind and if she thought about it for too long it took her breath away. But the thought that lingered in the back of her mind was one of a subject they hadn't even touched on. They were so caught up in the moment, so caught up in each other, that they hadn't discussed what any of this meant, they hadn't discussed the future or what was going to happen next. In fact Rachel dreaded the upcoming tomorrow because she knew that it was Finn's first day of classes for the semester and he wouldn't have his every free second to spend with her. And if she thought about that fact for too long, she would remember that the whole reason she'd had so much time to spend with him to begin with was because she was now an unemployed actress and as long as she stayed there she was going to stay unemployed without even a prospect on the horizon. They had talked plenty of the past but not once had either of them mentioned the future and their situation was certainly unconventional. Rachel sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes as his scent wrapped around him. She knew she couldn't live in the hotel forever, but she had no clue where anything stood with Finn and was scared to even bring the conversation to light.

Finn felt Rachel tense up against him as she took a breath, he could hear the small sigh that followed and reached up running his fingers through her hair as he leaned his head back against the sofa. "What are you thinking about?" He whispered softly leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

"You," she whispered looking up and getting lost in his eyes, life hadn't changed his eyes. Some people you could look at and tell their tough times had hardened them and changed things. Not Finn's when Rachel looked into his eyes they still had that same look of bewilderment and innocence she had always seen in them. She reached up sliding her fingers across the sides of his face and running her fingers through his hair looking into his eyes and smiling before pressing her forehead against his and closing her eyes feeling a tear slip from them, as her heart pounding in her chest, she wanted to ask him, to find out what the last few days meant to him, what it meant for them, if it even meant anything for them.

Finn gazed at Rachel confused as the tear rolled down her cheek. He reached up wiping it away and pulling back slightly, "Why are you crying?" He asked in a whisper.

"Because," she stopped and bit her lips, I love you; her voice screamed inside her head, I love you, the words she wanted to say screaming and fighting to come out. But instead she simply shook her head, "It's nothing," she said pulling back and wiping her tears away as she jumped off his lap. "These last few days have just been overwhelming." She shrugged and look at him watching as his mouth opened to speak his words cute off by the sound of her ringing cell phone. "I'm going to get that hang on," she held a finger at him before walking around to the bedside table to answer her phone.

Her actions seemed off and Finn knew that. He wished he could get inside her head and know what she was thinking. He knew as well as anyone that they still had a lot of talking to do, there were still things to figure out and he didn't know what any of it meant but he knew that he wanted to figure them out with her. He lost his heart to her the moment she walked back into his life, it was like his heart took off at a hundred mile an hour right for her the moment he saw her face, it wasn't something her could have fought if he'd wanted to. And as soon as she got off the phone he was going to tell her exactly that, he nodded to himself and studied her reaction to her conversation. Raising an eyebrow as she got excited and jumped slightly clapping her hands together and then hanging up the phone.

"Finn you're not going to believe this," she rambled off quickly. "Okay it's not Broadway but that was my agent they want me for a West End production of Evita."

Finn felt his heart sink into his stomach, London and one of her dream roles, he already did not like where this conversation was going. "West End, that's London…" He said in a slightly unsure voice.

"Yes, that's London, like London's version of Broadway. Some think it's even better than Broadway but those people are people who obviously just couldn't make it on Broadway but it's still it's the big league and not just the big league but the big leagues and one of my dream roles and the producers had seen so much of my touring footage that I don't even have to audition they want me." She rattle off quickly practically dancing around the room before she realized Finn was still sitting on the sofa and reality settled in. "There's a catch," she said stopping in front of him and taking a dream breath knowing the next words out of her mouth weren't going to go so well. "I have to leave tomorrow. Rehearsals start in three days, so I have to leave tomorrow. My agent already booked me a flight."

Finn sucked in a deep breath and shook his head, forcing a smile, "That's great Rachel," he said forcing a nod and taking a hard swallow, unable to fake being happy for her even though he did want to be happy for her, he just knew what this meant. Wiping his hands on his jeans, he moved to stand up. "That's really great for you Rachel; it'll do wonders for your career. I guess you're not lost anymore." He remarked and faked a smile.

"Finn," she said quietly and took a step towards him only to watch as he took a step back.

"Don't Rachel. We both know what this means." He said swallowing hard. "You're going to leave tomorrow and start working towards that dream of yours again and I'm gonna be right here, going to classes, leading my boring average Joe lifestyle."

"Finn," she said a slight hint of desperation in her voice, "It doesn't mean we can't…"

He quickly cut her off, "We can't what? We haven't even talked about what this," he stops pointing between them and taking another step away from her, "Is. And maybe it just is what it is, a really great couple of days we can file away in our memory banks and maybe move on with our lives this time."

Rachel shook her head and wrung her hands together the tension between them building, "This is my dream Finn."

"Exactly." He said sharply. "That's your dream. And you're going to have it. You're going to be that big star you want to be." He paused taking a harsh swallow and slamming his eyes shut rubbing his temples for a moment before looking at her his brain screaming a million things at him, his heart pounding in his chest and begging him to tell her how he felt. Finn quickly snatched his eyes away from her knowing there was no way he'd be able to say his next words if he was looking at her, "Go to London Rachel," his voice was rough and harsh as he spoke. "Go to London. You're going to be the big star you've always wanted to be. And I'm always going to be the second string Lima loser, just in a different city." A bitter half smile scoffed across his lips as he reached into his pocket grabbing his keys. "Second string will always be the best I'm going to get with you and I can't do that to myself but I won't stand in your way either."

Rachel watched incomplete disbelief as he didn't even give her the chance to speak before rushing out the door. She knew she should chase after him, but her body was paralyzed, her phone slipped out of her hands and she collapsed onto the floor balling up and resting her head against her knees as the tears flowed from her eyes.

Finn Hudson felt like he had just gone through the longest day of his life. His focus in class had been completely lost and all he wanted to do was go home and sleep because sleeping meant he wasn't think or checking his cell phone and wondering where Rachel was. She hadn't even tried, he thought to himself, she hadn't even called to say goodbye, then again after the way he just blew out of the room why would she, he thought to himself. He didn't know what time her flight was supposed to leave but he was certain that it had left by the time he was on his way home from class. "You need to stop thinking about her and beating yourself up," he said out loud as he pulled into his apartment complex and parked making his way towards the apartment he shared with Ste. "Just stop and act like nothing's wrong, same way you did last night." He said and puffed his chest out before opening the door and walking inside. Ste gave him a waved as he made his way towards the kitchen. "How were classes today man." Finn asked with his head buried in the refrigerator.

"They were alright. How was your day anything interesting happen?" Ste answered the words leaving his mouth almost too fast for Finn to process them.

Finn knew that while he might not always be the smartest guy, he knew Ste pretty well and he could tell when something was going on with him. "No, nothing interesting just a bunch of boring classes, I'll be glad when I never have to attend a class again." He nodded and looked Ste over before his eyes drifted down to a large brown and pink book on the coffee table. It looked nothing like a textbook and those were usually the only kind of books they had on the coffee table, this looked more like a photo album and it was certainly not one he'd seen before, it was probably Maddie's, he affirmed in his head. "What's that?" He pointed at the book and made his way over to the chair near the sofa where Ste was sitting.

"I was waiting for you to notice that," The words came out almost like Ste had been holding his breath, before an unsure smile crept across his face. Ste reached forward and picked up the book before walking over to Finn and dropping it in his lap, "Open that," he nodded and held his hand out to Finn in a not yet motion. "Open that look through it and then walk inside your bedroom."

Ste voice was firm and almost demanding. Finn had heard the tone many times before, usually only when Ste was trying to make him study or learn something, but Finn knew that the tome of Ste voice meant business. "Okay, I will." He responded watching as Ste nodded before patting him on the shoulder and walking out of their apartment. Finn looked at the door closing behind Ste in a confused manner, then back at the book in his lap just as confused. "Okay, open it and look at it," he repeated the instructions to himself a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach as he reached up with a shaking hand to open the book. When he opened the first page of the book it hit him like a ton of bricks staring him right in his face was a picture of himself and Rachel they day the graduated high school, underneath that a picture of them together the day he went to New York to help her moved into her dorm room, five days before he moved into his. Finn stared at the pictures completely lost and confused as his eyes drifted to the bottom of the page and there staring him right in his face was a ticket stub. The air left the room and for a split second Finn was positive he was suffocating as he read the ticket stub, "The West Virginia game," he said to himself in a horse voice and took a hard swallow, gasping for a breath and in a complete trance about to turn the page when his thought were snapped away by the sound of a door opening. His head snapped in the direction of his bedroom door and his eyes widen as her figure came into sight and her voice filled the room.

"It's every article ever published about you I could find from the time you got here until the time your name left the spotlight. Every score box, every picture, anything I could find I cut out of the paper or printed off the internet and I put it in that scrap book. It was my way of being able to be a part of your moments." She said softly playing with her hands and looking up to meet his eyes.

"You were at the game, the one…"

Rachel nodded and cut off his words, "You wouldn't answer your phone," she whispered softly before taking the steps closer to him and closing her eyes a tear falling from them as she reached the chair he was sitting frozen in. Crouching down in between his legs Rachel reached forward and ran her hand down his face, "You're not a loser. And you were never second string Finn. Not then and not now." She stopped resting her palm against his cheek and shaking her head at him. "I love you. And I'm not a star without you, never will be." She whispered softly and looked at him his eyes still wide and filled with a mixture of shock and slight confusion as he sat still completely frozen to his chair. "I can give you some time to think about everything if you need it. But I'm not going anywhere." She said firmly and waiting for any kind of reaction, finally getting one as she moved to stand up.

Finn felt her starting to stand and reached forward pulling her back down and looking deeply into her eyes, he'd seen that look before, her sixteen year old self flashed before his eyes and slowly morphed into who she was now, the changes so slightly that he's sure he was probably one of the only people in the whole who would even notice. Tighten his grip on her hand a goofy half grin started to form on his face and he shook his head slightly at her, he eyes moving and looking directly into hers, "You can kiss me if you want too," He said a real grin breaking out over his face as he watched Rachel shake her head in embarrassment before reaching forward and taking his face in her hands.

"I want too," she said softly with a half laugh before moving in and just like they began, Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry started over.

A/N: I know it's a bit choppy but it was difficult to get a start on this chapter and I wanted to split this into two chapters but then ending part didn't end up being long enough for itself own chapter. This also wasn't even the original plan I had for an ending the characters kinda ran away with the story as I wrote it. I have the opening scenes to a sequel rolling around in my head so if I can develop scenes into a story maybe I'll start working on that. I hope I did the characters justice and wrapped it up nicely for everyone for everyone. Thanks for reading.


End file.
